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The world is filled with smart, talented, educated and gifted people. We meet them every day. A few days ago, my car was not running well. I pulled it into a garage, and the young mechanic had it fixed in just a few minutes. He knew what was wrong by simply listening to the engine. I was amazed. The sad truth is, great talent is not enough.
I am constantly shocked at how little talented people earn. I heard the other day that less than 5 percent of Americans earn more than $100,000 a year. A business consultant who specializes in1 the medical trade was telling me how many doctors, dentists andchiropractors struggle financially. All this time, I thought that when they graduated, the dollars would pour in. It was this business consultant who gave me the phrase, “They are one skill away from great wealth。” What this phrase means is that most people need only to learn and master one more skill and their income would jump exponentially. I have mentioned before that financial intelligence is a synergy of accounting, investing, marketing and law. Combine those four technical skills and making money with money is easier. When it comes to money, the only skill most people know is to work hard.
When I graduated from the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy in 1969, my educated dad was happy. Standard Oil of California had hired me for its oil-tanker fleet. I had a great career ahead of me, yet I resigned after six months with the company and joined the Marine Corps to learn how to fly. My educated dad was devastated. Rich dad congratulated me.
爱学习 Job security meant everything to my educated dad. Learning meant everything to my rich dad. Educated dad thought I went to school to learn to be a ship's officer. Rich dad knew that I went to school to study international trade. So as a student, I made cargo runs, navigating 6 large freighters, oil tankers and passenger ships to the Far East and the South Pacific. While most of my classmates, including Mike, were partying at theirfraternity houses, I was studying trade, people and cultures in Japan, Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, Vietnam, Korea and the Philippines. I also was partying, but it was not in any frat house. I grew up rapidly.
There is an old cliché that goes, “Job is an acronym9 for 'Just Over Broke.'” And unfortunately, I would say that the saying applies to millions of people. Because school does not think financial intelligence is intelligence, most workers “live within their means。” They work and they pay the bills. Instead I recommend to young people to seek work for what they will learn, more than what they will earn. Look down the road at what skills they want to acquire before choosing a specific profession and before getting trapped in the “Rat Race”. Once people are trapped in the lifelong process of bill paying, they become like those little hamsters running around in those little metal wheels. Their little furry legs are spinning furiously, the wheel is turning furiously, but come tomorrow morning, they'll still be in the same cage: great job.
爱学习 常言道，“工作(job)就是'比破产强一点(Just Over Broke)'的缩写”。然而不幸的是，这句话确实适用于千百万人，因为学校没有把财商看作是一种才智，大部分工人都“量入为出”：干活挣钱，支付账单。相反，我劝告年轻人在寻找工作时要看看能从中学到什么，而不是只看能挣到多少。在选择某种特定职业之前或是陷入 “老鼠赛跑(激烈的竞争)”之前，要好好掂量自己到底需要获得什么技能。一旦人们为支付账单而整天疲于奔命，就和那些在小铁轮里不停奔跑转圈的小老鼠一样了。老鼠的小毛腿跑得飞快，小铁轮也转得飞快，可到了第二天早上，他们发现自己依然困在同一个老鼠笼里，那就是：重要的工作。
爱学习 When I ask the classes I teach, “How many of you can cook a better hamburger than McDonald's?” almost all the students raise their hands. I then ask, “So if most of you can cook a better hamburger, how come McDonald's makes more money than you?” The answer is obvious: McDonald's is excellent at business systems. The reason so many talented people are poor is because they focus on building a better hamburger and know little or nothing about business systems. The world is filled with talented poor people. All too often, they're poor or struggle financially or earn less than they are capable of, not because of what they know but because of what they do not know. They focus on perfecting their skills at building a better hamburger rather than the skills of selling and delivering the hamburger.
爱学习 Love means that I know the person I love. I'm aware of the many sides of the other person----not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies and flaws. I have anawareness of the other's feelings and thoughts, and I experience something of the core ofthat person. I can penetrate social masks and roles and see the other person on a deeperlevel.
Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. To the extent that it is genuine, my caring is not a smothering of the person or a possessive clinging. On the contrary, mycaring liberates both of us. If I care about you, I'm concerned about your growth, and I hopeyou will become all that you can become. Consequently, I don't put up roadblocks to what youdo that enhances you as a person, even though it may result in my discomfort at times.
爱学习 Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love. If I love you, I can see you as aseparate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that yousurrender you identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me. I canallow and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are, and I avoid treating you asan object or using you primarily to gratify my own needs.
爱学习 Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you, I'm responsive tomost of your major needs as a person. This responsibility does not entail my doing for youwhat you are capable of doing for yourself; nor does it mean that I run your life for you. Itdoes imply acknowledging that what I am and what I do affects you, so that I am directlyinvolved in your happiness and your misery. A lover does have the capacity to hurt or neglectthe loved one, and in this sense I see that love entails and acceptance of some responsibilityfor the impact my way of being has on you.
Love means growth for both myself and the person I love. If I love you, I am growing as aresult of my love. You are a stimulant for me to become more fully what I might become, andmy loving enhances your being as well. We each grow as a result of caring and being cared for; we each share in an enriching experience that does not detract form our being.
爱学习 Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This commitment does not entailsurrendering our total selves to each other; nor does it imply that the relationship isnecessarily permanent. It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, uncertainty, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.
Love means trusting the person I love. If I love you, I trust that you will accept my caring andmy love and that you won't deliberately hurt me. I trust that you will find me lovable and thatyou won't abandon me; I trust the reciprocal nature of our love. If we trust each other, we arewilling to be open to each other and can shed masks and pretenses and reveal our trueselves.
Love can tolerate imperfection. In a love relationship there are times of boredom, times whenI may feel like giving up, times of real strain, and times I experience an impasse. Authentic lovedoes not imply enduring happiness. I can stay during rough times, however, because I canremember what we had together in the past, and I can picture what we will have together in ourfuture if we care enough to face our problems and work them through. We agree with ReverendMaier when he writes that love is a spirit that changes life. Love is a way of life that is creativeand that transforms. However, Maier does not view love as being reserved for a perfect world. ”Love is meant for our imperfect world where things go wrong. Love is meant to be a spirit thatworks in painful situations. Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appears toreign.” In other words, love comes into an imperfect world to make it livable.
爱学习 Love is freeing. Love is freely given, not doled out on demand. At the same time, my love foryou is not dependent on whether you fulfill my expectations of you. Authentic love does notimply “I'll love you when you become perfect or when you become what I expect you tobecome.” Authentic love is not given with strings attached. There is an unconditional qualityabout love.
Love is expansive. If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships. Although our love for each other and our commitment to each other might bar certain actionson our parts, we are not totally and exclusively wedded to each other. It is a pseudolove thatcements one person to another in such a way that he or she is not given room to grow. Caseyand Vanceburg put this notion well:
The honest evidence of our love is our commitment to encouraging another's fulldevelopment. We are interdependent personalities who need one another's presence in orderto fulfill our destiny. And yet, we are also separate individuals. We must come to terms withour struggles alone.
Love means having a want for the person I love without having a need for that person in orderto be complete. If I am nothing without you, then I'm not really free to love you. I love you andyou leave, I'll experience a loss and be sad and lonely, but I'll still be able to survive. If I am notfree to challenge our relationship; nor am I free to challenge and confront you. Because ofmy fear of losing you, I'll settle for less than I want, and this settling will surely lead to feelingsof resentment.
爱学习 Love means identifying with the person I love. If I love you, I can empathize with you and seethe world through your eyes. I can identify with you and see the world through your eyes. Ican identify with you because I'm able to see myself in you and you in me. This closeness doesnot imply a continual “togetherness,” for distance and separation are sometimes essential ina loving relationship. Distance and can intensify a loving bond, and it can help us rediscoverourselves, so that we are able to meet each other in a new way.
爱学习 Love means selfish. I can only love you if I genuinely love, value, appreciate, and respectmyself. If I am empty, then all I can give you is my emptiness. If I feel that I'm complete andworthwhile in myself, then I'm able to give to you out of my fullness. One of the best ways forme to give you love is by fully enjoying myself with you.
爱学习 Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love. In my love for another, I view heror him as the person she or he can become, while still accepting who and what the person isnow. Goethe's observation is relevant here: by taking people as they are, we make themworse, but by treating them as if they already were what they ought to be, we help make thembetter.
We conclude this discussion of the meanings that authentic love has for us by sharing athought from Fromm's The Art of Loving (1956). His description of mature love sums up theessential characteristics of authentic love quite well:
Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality. Inlove this paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
失败才是真正的财富Have you ever failed?
爱学习 If you haven't, I suggest you try some.
I have failed, many times.
爱学习 And some of these failures were even painful.
But I cherish them more than I cherish my success.
Success sometimes makes you numb .
爱学习 But failures make you awake. Failures are cleansing.
Failing is not necessarily losing. Neither does a failure make you a loser.
Failing is just the name we give to the state you stay in until you succeed.
A failure is a precious opportunity to learn new things.
爱学习 And trust me. You always rememeber what you learn in failures better than those you learn in success.
Failing doesn't mean you lost something forever. It only means that you didn't get it yet and you have to find another way to get it.
And isn't that a treature? A new direction to think.
爱学习 Don't pray for easy success. That' a curse.
Pray for hard failure.
As long as it doesn't kill you, it will definitely make you stronger.