时间:2015-10-12 17:06:56本文内容及图片来源于读者投稿,如有侵权请联系xuexila888@qq.com 楚欣 我要投稿


爱学习   Love means that I know the person I love. I’m awareof the many sides of the other person----not justthe beautiful side but also the limitations,inconsistencies and flaws. I have an awareness ofthe other’s feelings and thoughts, and I experiencesomething of the core of that person. I canpenetrate social masks and roles and see the otherperson on a deeper level.

爱学习   爱意味着我了解我所爱的人。我认识到对方的许多方面,不仅是美丽闪光的一面,还有能力上的不足、反复无常和性格上的缺陷。我了解对方的感情和想法,我能体验到那个人身上的某种本质的东西。我能透过对方社交场合的表现和在社会的角色,看到他更深层次的品质。

爱学习   Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. To the extent that it is genuine,my caring is not a smothering of the person or a possessive clinging. On the contrary, mycaring liberates both of us. If I care about you, I’m concerned about your growth, and I hopeyou will become all that you can become. Consequently, I don’t put up roadblocks to what youdo that enhances you as a person, even though it may result in my discomfort at times.



  Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love. If I love you, I can see you as aseparate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that yousurrender you identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me. I canallow and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are, and I avoid treating you asan object or using you primarily to gratify my own needs.


爱学习   Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you, I’m responsive tomost of your major needs as a person. This responsibility does not entail my doing for youwhat you are capable of doing for yourself; nor does it mean that I run your life for you. Itdoes imply acknowledging that what I am and what I do affects you, so that I am directlyinvolved in your happiness and your misery. A lover does have the capacity to hurt or neglectthe loved one, and in this sense I see that love entails and acceptance of some responsibilityfor the impact my way of being has on you.

爱学习   爱意味着对我所爱的人付责任。如果我爱你,我就会积极对待你的需要。这种责任并不等于我要为你做你自己能够做到的事情,也不是说我为你管理你的生活。它应该是承认我和我所做的事会对你产生影响,因此我直接与你的幸福和痛苦联系在一起。一个人的确可能会伤害或忽视他所爱的人。从这个意义上说,爱包含着我要为我(的生活方式)对你的影响承担一定的责任。

爱学习   Love means growth for both myself and the person I love. If I love you, I am growing as aresult of my love. You are a stimulant for me to become more fully what I might become, andmy loving enhances your being as well. We each grow as a result of caring and being cared for;we each share in an enriching experience that does not detract form our being.


  Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This commitment does not entailsurrendering our total selves to each other; nor does it imply that the relationship isnecessarily permanent. It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain,uncertainty, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.

爱学习   爱意味着能够承诺我所爱的人。这种承诺并不需要我们相互放弃自身的特性;也不是指我们的这种关系一定要天长地久。这种承诺不仅包含着愿意在痛苦、犹豫、绝望的时候相互支持,也包含着共享平静与欢乐。

爱学习   Love means trusting the person I love. If I love you, I trust that you will accept my caring andmy love and that you won’t deliberately hurt me. I trust that you will find me lovable and thatyou won’t abandon me; I trust the reciprocal nature of our love. If we trust each other, we arewilling to be open to each other and can shed masks and pretenses and reveal our trueselves.

爱学习   爱意味着相信我所爱的人。如果我爱你,我会相信你将接受我的关心与爱意,我会相信你不会故意把我伤害,我会相信你终将发现我的可爱之处,我会相信你不会把我弃于不顾;我会相信我们是相爱的。如果我们彼此信任,我们就愿意敞开心扉,摘下面具,去掉伪装,显示我们真实的自我。

爱学习   Love can tolerate imperfection. In a love relationship there are times of boredom, times whenI may feel like giving up, times of real strain, and times I experience an impasse. Authentic lovedoes not imply enduring happiness. I can stay during rough times, however, because I canremember what we had together in the past, and I can picture what we will have together in ourfuture if we care enough to face our problems and work them through. We agree with ReverendMaier when he writes that love is a spirit that changes life. Love is a way of life that is creativeand that transforms. However, Maier does not view love as being reserved for a perfect world. ”Love is meant for our imperfect world where things go wrong. Love is meant to be a spirit thatworks in painful situations. Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appears toreign.” In other words, love comes into an imperfect world to make it livable.


爱学习   Love is freeing. Love is freely given, not doled out on demand. At the same time, my love foryou is not dependent on whether you fulfill my expectations of you. Authentic love does notimply “I’ll love you when you become perfect or when you become what I expect you tobecome.” Authentic love is not given with strings attached. There is an unconditional qualityabout love.


  Love is expansive. If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships.Although our love for each other and our commitment to each other might bar certain actionson our parts, we are not totally and exclusively wedded to each other. It is a pseudolove thatcements one person to another in such a way that he or she is not given room to grow. Caseyand Vanceburg put this notion well:

爱学习   爱是博大的。如果我爱你,我会鼓励你向外发展,建立其他的人际关系。虽然我们之间的爱和彼此的承诺不允许我们做某些事情,但是我们并不是完全彻底地拴在一起。把一个人和另一个人拴在一起,而不给予他发展的空间,这是一种虚假的爱。凯斯和温斯伯格对这个概念有很好的解释:

  The honest evidence of our love is our commitment to encouraging another’s fulldevelopment. We are interdependent personalities who need one another’s presence in orderto fulfill our destiny. And yet, we are also separate individuals. We must come to terms withour struggles alone.


  Love means having a want for the person I love without having a need for that person in orderto be complete. If I am nothing without you, then I’m not really free to love you. I love you andyou leave, I’ll experience a loss and be sad and lonely, but I’ll still be able to survive. If I am notfree to challenge our relationship; nor am I free to challenge and confront you. Because ofmy fear of losing you, I’ll settle for less than I want, and this settling will surely lead to feelingsof resentment.


爱学习   Love means identifying with the person I love. If I love you, I can empathize with you and seethe world through your eyes. I can identify with you and see the world through your eyes. Ican identify with you because I’m able to see myself in you and you in me. This closeness doesnot imply a continual “togetherness,” for distance and separation are sometimes essential ina loving relationship. Distance and can intensify a loving bond, and it can help us rediscoverourselves, so that we are able to meet each other in a new way.


  Love means selfish. I can only love you if I genuinely love, value, appreciate, and respectmyself. If I am empty, then all I can give you is my emptiness. If I feel that I’m complete andworthwhile in myself, then I’m able to give to you out of my fullness. One of the best ways forme to give you love is by fully enjoying myself with you.

爱学习   爱中充满了自我。只有我能真正地爱着自己,珍视自己,欣赏自己,尊重自己,我才能爱你。如果我生活空虚,那么我能给予你的只能是我的空虚。如果我感到自己是完整的,有价值的,那么我就能让你分享我的充实。给予我对你的爱,最好的方式就是和你在一起充分享受我的一切。

  Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love. In my love for another, I view heror him as the person she or he can become, while still accepting who and what the person isnow. Goethe’s observation is relevant here: by taking people as they are, we make themworse, but by treating them as if they already were what they ought to be, we help make thembetter.


爱学习   We conclude this discussion of the meanings that authentic love has for us by sharing athought from Fromm’s The Art of Loving (1956). His description of mature love sums up theessential characteristics of authentic love quite well:


爱学习   Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity, one’s individuality. Inlove this paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.


爱学习友链、商务、投稿、客服:QQ:3061683909 邮箱3061683909@qq.com

爱学习Copyright @ 2006 - 2020 爱学习 All Rights Reserved

爱学习爱学习 版权所有 粤ICP备15032933号-1



回到顶部 在线学习网 德尚励志网 鹭岛文学网 激昂文学网 立方根文学 星火作文网 资讯网 大发创业网 大发网赚 浩万网赚 百事资讯网 容纳资讯网 最新电影